Orestes Drunk, Pylades Laughing


This is the insane, half-finished RP that Cori (Solange_et_al) and I did on Yahoo messenger. In which there was drunken firebrands, hideous metaphor, dissapearing asterisks and displaced Anglais. I’m R, Enjy, Cobeferre, Javert, and Gros-René, and Renee is Jolllly, Bahorel, Monty (Sam), Solange, and Sabin. Enjoy!

solange_et_al: cool. so Bahorel's building the barricade. ditto for all my other characters.

R: *shaking the comotose Enjy* "Enjolras! Wake up!"

Enjy: "ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ*

Joly: "well, I guess the leadership duties will fall to the second in command, Combeferre...."

R: "Damn!" *shakes Enjy down... empty bottle rolls away, R checks it* "Curses! And no happy drop to send me following after! I say again: Damn!"

Sam: sees this as a perfect opportunity to off the leader of the barricade. his hand slips out of his pocket holding a fistcuff. shielding view of the gun with his body, he aims at Enjy....

Combeferre: "Enjolras is WHAT!?"

R: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" *throws himself in front of Enjy"

solange_et_al: "Enjolras is asleep," Joly repeats. "Grantaire....?"

Combeferre: "What's he doing asleep? And what about Grantaire?"

Joly: "Grantaire just threw himself on top of Enjolras. Grantaire, what's WRONG with you?"

Javert:*Is watching all of this darkly brooding*

Sam: realizes this won't work. he puts the gun away and offers Javert a helpless shrug (he's spying in turn for a lighter prison sentence)

R: "There's a guy pointing a gun at Enjolras! He's..." *Can no longer see Sam's gun... Sure it was there just a minute ago... Does not move. Embarrassed.* "um.."

Javert: *accepts this with a silent nod*

Combeferre: "Capital R, get off of him, will you!?"

Joly: "I think you've had too much to drink" "like always," Solange mutters, disguising her voice.

Gros-Rene: Is building the Barricade.

Sabin: is doing the same. "you look familiar..."

R: Very Embarrassed... "Actually, I'm quite sober, which might explain it..." sits down in a nearby chair, bewildered.*

G-R: "Who, me?"

Joly: "I'll go fix some coffee"

Sabin: "yes"

Combeferre: "Good Idea."

G-R: "You know, so do you.... strange..."

Sabin: "yes..."

Joly: goes and makes some. closes Grantaire's hand around a cup.

G-R:"What is your name, then?"

R:*looks up hopefully* "Laced with Absinthe?"

Joly: "no"

R: "Damn." *drinks it anyway.*

Sabin: "my name's Sabin"

Javert: Sees G-R through the doorway, stands up to get a better look.

G-R: "I'm Gros-Rene."

Sabin: "nice to meet you"

G-R: "Likewise."

Sabin: nods "I'm actually English, but I wish to liberate France so I can move here and start a new life"

G-R "I'm actually Jewish, but I was born in France. Oh..." *points at a handsome, blonde fellow on the other side* "See that one, over there? The good looking one with all the cannons?"

Sabin: "hmm.....yes" G-R: "That is my brother, Herchel." *Takes careful aim, and fires.* "Now, where is the other one..." *mutters to himself, then to Sabin* "Good to have you with us."

Sabin: pales considerably "you just killed your brother?"

G-R: *looks at Sabin, a little distractedly* "If you had known him, you would have shot him too. But you didn't know him, and, as he is wearing a uniform, you would have shot him anyway. " Puts his gun in his belt.

Sabin: "o my God..."

Javert: has been watching this entire exchange intently from the door.

Sabin: notices a man with forests for cheeks staring at them "er...any clue who that is?"

G-R: "Give me a hand with this, will you?" Lifts a big cart-wheel, far too heavy for his slight frame.

Sabin: tosses it onto the barricade

G-R: Looks where he is pointing and almost drops the wheel. Trembles as his eyes meet... "Gotenyu..."

Sabin: "what's wrong?"

G-R: He is like a deer in the headlights "Call Combeferre... the one in the green. tell him there’s a spy..." And he can no longer speak, so terrified is he.

Sabin: touches his shoulder "Monsieur?"

Javert: Regards the traitor coolly.

G-R: Is shaking too badly to respond... he might faint.

G-R: "go!" He manages to squeak, shoving Sabin

Sabin: leads him over to a chair and sits him down, then goes over to Combeferre "Monsieur? Monsieur, that man over there is supposedly a spy" points to Javert.

Combeferre: "Is he?" Goes over to Javert. "Monsieur, that fellow over there suggests that you are a spy."

solange_et_al: Joly and Solange happen over and wait for Javert's explanation.

Javert: "Oh?" Looks calmly at Sabin and the still-shaking G-R. "I suppose he would... As I was just about to denounce him."

Joly: "WHAT!?"

G-R: Shaking with rage now, "You dirty, filthy Liar! You are Inspector Javert, Inspector first class of the Paris Police if you want to know, and M. Gisquet must have sent you..." he snarls.

Javert: Javert takes a pinch of snuff, "And you know all of this... how?"

Solange: holds up Javert's ID badge; her days as an 8-year-old pickpocket came in handy "care to explain this, sir?" she asks, disguising her voice so no one will recognize her.

G-R: deflates, then turns to Solange, wide eyed.

Solange: "Unless I'm mistaken, this says Inspector Javert, Inspector First Class of the Paris Police. that's what that gentleman said, I believe"

Javert: Ingoring most of what she is saying "I have no intention of explaining it, Mademoiselle. I am not in the habit of explaining myself... isn't that right, Officer Chauremonde?" GR is trembling again.

Sabin: raises an eyebrow "Officer?"

Solange: pales when he calls her 'mademoiselle'; she's wearing Jehan's clothes in hopes it'll disguise her well enough

rabsjavert: (We'll assume that G-R's occupation never came up in the Cafe, although Merecule likes to get that point across as soon as possible.)

G-R: "I am no spy." He replies weakly. "Except against that uniform he represents." Last, desprate fury- he does not expect to be believed.

Combeferre: To Javert- "Answer the child's question, Monseiur."

Bahorel: takes Combeferre aside "I, personally, am more inclined to believe the supposed officer. he's been helping us, while the inspector has been merely watching or hindering our work"

Javert: "The 'Gentleman'" He says with a veritable sneer, "Is correct. But so am I. He is an officer of the crown."

Sabin: "we don't believe that, or if we do, we can trust he is here to help us"

Combeferre: nods "I'm with you. Take him!" Summmons large insurgents to tie up Javert, who assents with a curled lip.

Sabin: touches Gros-Rene's shoulder "are you alright?"

G-R: Watches in disbelief as Javert is trussed. "Gotenyu..."

Sabin: "what does that mean, anyhow?"

G-R: looks up wonderingly at Sabin "...I?" Looks again at the trussed Inspector, "I'm..." he repeats "Gotenyu." Ansewring Sabin's question, "It means, 'God, my Father', basically."

Sabin: "I see....well, you're safe now. we believe you"

G-R: "No, No, I must confess... I am a police officer, or I was rather... but I am for the republic. I cannot decieve these people, who are my family, now..." *buries his head in his hands.*

Sabin: laid a hand on his shoulder "it's alright. we trust you"

G-R: looks up at him, "As you say..." he smiles, weakly, and clasps Sabin's hand briefly. Then he re-takes his place on the Barricade.

Sabin: ditto

Solange: meanwhile, she watches as they tie Javert to a post in the basement

Combeferre: Ties Javert to the post,

R: Looks on in amusement.

R: "This is an interesting sort of flag you've picked up, Combeferre- now why is it flying in here?" solange: approaches him afterwards "Sir, what made you call me Mademoiselle?" (still disguising her voice)

Joly: "what flag?"

Javert: stares at her, does not respond.

solange: repeats her question

R: "I mean him, you cretin!" Indicates Javert

Jolllly: laughs, then sneezes

Javert: Sneers. "Because I am not so blind as to be confused by a boy's clothes, nor so deaf so as not to recognise a lowered voice, Madmoiselle.

solange: "shhh"

R: "As the English say, 'Bless you!' Now direct that breeze at our fine flag there, and let's see it flutter."

Joly: "I think you need another cup of coffee, R"

Javert: "First you pester me to speak, then you hiss at me to stay silent? Go away, you annoy me. Morebleu... why have I not been executed? Who is in charge?" He roars.

R: "Not unless it's a got a good deal more fire that the last one."

Solange: clamps a hand over his mouth "Monsieur Combeferre is in charge. you will be executed when we can spare a bullet"

Combeferre: Comes back down "Did you want something, Monsieur Inspector?"

Solange: "he wants to be executed"

Javert: Laughs into her hand, then tries to shake it away

solange: finally lets go

Combeferre: "Your timing is miserable Inspector- we're low on bullets just at the moment. But don't worry, We'll get to you soon enough."

Javert: "Then do it with a knife."

Solange: looks at Combeferre and shrugs

R: "Aye, that's the proper way to cut cloth."

Joly: "this is a man, not a bolt of cloth, capital R"

Combeferre: "And dull a perfectly good blade! Have patience Monsieur!" To Solange- "Go on up and see what's going on, will you?" Ignores R.

R: "He's a shroud! He's a funeral sheet, and all in black too! Someone should make him kneel; he belongs at half-mast!"

Joly: "capital R, really!"

Solange: goes upstairs and outside

Combeferre: Sighs and follows her.

Solange: looks around to see what's going on

R: "I guess that leaves me to guard the prisoner," He says to Jolllly, as everyone else has gone up.

Joly: "I'll stay, too. I dod't quite trust you"

G-R: is on the Barricade with Sabin still.. it's almost finished.

Solange: goes to help them

R: "Come now! Don't trust me? Why, I've got an eye like the eagle of Meaux and just as good of a tounge too. Not that this canary is hard to miss..." eyes Javert...

Joly: laughs

G-R: looks at Solange briefly as she joins them, but says nothing to her.

solange_et_al: finally the barricade's finished Bahorel leaps on top of it.

Joly: "I'll stand guard"

Javert: To himself "They should have just stabbed me..."

Joly: "to quote Enjolras, we are judges not assassins"

G-R: Watches Bahorel with admiration in his eyes

R: "To quote Enjolras,... ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ!" feigns snoring, and indicates the poor, passed out Enjy.

Joly: "Grantaire!"

R: Gets up and examines Enjolras closely, to Joly, "You know, I always thought that would be me, when the barricades arose... Well!" Spins around, sits on the table next to Enjy's head and thumps it, "Isn't this a pretty turn of events!"

rabsjavert: (the table, not E!'s head) solange_et_al: laughs

Bahorel: eyes light up when he sees the glint of a bayonet going up the side of the barricade "ATTA--AAAAAAAAAGHCK!" he falls off, having been stabbed with the same bayonet he saw.

G-R: his eyes glaze over and he shoots the fellow who just stabbed Bahorel

Solange: grabs a gun and fires at another soldier climbing over the top of the barricade

Enjy: "ZZZZZZZGeneral Lemarque....ZZZZZ...La Revolution...ZZZZ...Patria, ohhhhh, Ma Patria...." Snores.

Joly: "sounds like the fight's begun out there"

G-R: Climbs upon the barricade and attacks.

solange_et_al: everyone but Joly is fighting now

rabsjavert: And R.

R: startled by Enjy's elocutions, to Bahorel, "Does it?" listens. BOOM CRASH! "Well then, so it is! I suppose that means something, but I'm not sure what... Perhaps I shall carry an umbrella when I go out."

Bahorel: crawls into the safety of the cafe to tie off his wound

Joly: "Really, capital R! a bullet will go right through an umbrella"

G-R: "Ah... there you are." sites another blonde youth who is climbing up the Barricade, who is a little older than he. "Bonjour, Andre." He fires in his face.

Sabin: "o my God..your other brother?"

R: "Well then, I'll make it out of this material here." Indicates Javert, "He looks like he could stand a bullet or two... and he's more than eager to get a few in him as well."

G-R: "once."

Sabin: "o my God...."

Joly: "Grantaire...."

G-R: Shoots some more Natn'l guardsmen. He points out others that he knows- two are the brothers of his best friend, and he remarks the 'Merecule will be quite pleased'. Others were officers that he had worked with, ect.

R: "Yes, oh thou consumptive one?"

Joly: "it's not a joke; I'm about to die. and that man is not a bolt of cloth"

Sabin: "that's sick..."

R: "You're no more about to die than the rest of us Jolllly, and I expect a bit later than that swath..."

Javert: "He's right about that, at least."

Joly: sighs and hands R another cup of coffee

G-R: shakes head grimly, "That is life." Shoots more... he manages to avoid beig shot because of his small size. As he fires, he recites in a sing-song voice, "Sh'ma O Yisroiel... Adonai Elohenu, Adonai Echod, Sh'ma, O Yisroiel..."

Sabin: "you realize you're going to die, don't you?"

R: Sniffs it and makes a face. "Dry again." Sighs and sees Bahorel. "Look at you now! You've forgot your umbrella, haven't you? Now the rain's put a hole in you... Joly, see to him will you?"

Joly: "rain? what's that nonsense..? Bahorel!?" runs to tend to him

G-R: nods, continues to take aim and sing, this time, not in Hebrew... "Hear me, O Israel.... The Lord is God.... The Lord is One..." Fires.

Sabin: cringes

R: To Javert "A brilliant doctor, but no talent for metaphor."

Javert: Also lacks talent for Metaphor, and is unamused.

Joly: bandages Bahorel up and brews another pot of coffee

Combeferre: Tosses a carbine to Sabin, "Come on man! They're gaining!"

Sabin: "huh? o, yes, of course..." adds under his breath, "Cecil never made me murder anyone"

R: "I think, oh brewer of noxious poisons, that this elixir would do more good in the spout of our fallen leader, hither."

Enjy: "zzzzz...Shut up, Winecask..zzzzzz"

R: Exultant, "Ha! He should talk!"

Joly: "you mean to tell me Enjolras drank a whole bottle of wine?"

G-R: Looks at Sabin curiously, "Murder?"

Sabin: "yes. that's exactly what we're doing: murdering these men"

Sabin: "your own brothers!"

R: gestures beneath the table, where a forest of drip-dry bottles lie rolling.

R: sighs.

Joly: "O dear God. he probably has alcohol poisoning.."

G-R: "We had the same father, that is all. They ceased to be my brothers when they became their uniforms."

R: "Oh, I don't know about that, It's impressive but...." Notices that Enjy is only erratically breathing... "Ok, when you're done there, let's get him up."

Joly: lifts Enjolras out of the chair and lies him on the floor "Enjolras, can you hear me?"

Sabin: "my God.."

R: "No, not like that." Picks Enjy up by the Armpits and holds him up standing. "This problem, Doctor, is one I do know about. We've got to keep him moving."

Joly: "are you sure?"

R: nods. "Yup. Get his other side, will you?"

Joly: "alright.." slings Enjy's arm over his shoulders rabsjavert: The Guardsmen draw back to recoup

Joly: walks him around

Enjy: zzzzz "Please mom, five more minutes...." zzzzz

Joly: "Enjolras, you gotta stay awake..."

Enjy: "zzzzzzIt was Adelle broke the cup, honest.zzzzzzzz"

Joly: jumps up and down

R: "Careful, you'll rattle his brains out." To Enjy, "Allons l'enfants de la Patrie-land..."

Joly: slaps his cheeks "c'mon, stay awake"

Enjy: "zzzzz*!*" Looks up, shakes head like it's buzzing, "Huh, wha..."

Joly: "you gotta stay awake..."

R: "He has risen!"

Joly: "thank God..."

Enjy: "Whass goin on?"

Joly: "you're drunk"

R: grins "You've been sleeping through the storm, my friend."

Joly: "yes, the barricade is finished, and we are fighting"

Enjy: Looks from Joly to R. "Oh god..."

R: Pats the marble cheek, "It's good to have you back with us, oh fearless leader!"

Joly: laughs

Enjy: repeats, "Oh God..." Swivels away, sees Javert.. "What on earth is that!?"

Joly: "a spy"

Enjy: "A spy? A Spy!" Tries to leap out of their grasps, winds up collapsing in R's... "Mon Dieu..."

Joly: "take it easy.."

R: Gingerly attempting to set him back up, "Slow down Mon Capitan, the first attack is over. You'll get your chance." To Joly, "Some of your brackish bilgewater might be of use, now."

Joly: gets Enjy a cup of coffee

Enjy: Sips it slowly, practically clinging to R for dear life.

Joly: "let's sit him down"

Combeferre: "We might as well back off... they'll try to starve us out, now. Little to do but wait."

R: Nods, guiding Enjy to the floor.

Joly: holds onto the cup of coffee and hands it back when he's sitting

Solange: nods

G-R: Climbs down and sits on the ground outside the cafe Sabin: sits down also

Enjy: Stares at Javert dumbly, then turns, sees R, and looks panicked

Joly: "Enjolras...?"

Enjy: "Um... Grantaire... I didn't... say anything In my sleep, did I?"

Joly: "I don't think you did"

R: "Not really. Just 'Patria', a few times."

Enjy: "Oh." Looks at his hands relieved.

solange_et_al: we'll have to continue this tonight. I have to go. talk to you later

rabsjavert: Ok... I dunno If I'll be on tho... if not, then tomorrow.

solange_et_al: cool! laters

Yahoo! Messenger: solange_et_al has logged out.


And that was that. Maybe it will be finished one day, maybe not. But it sure was a demmed lot of fun!

tell me quickly what’s the story…