Le Cirque de Miserablés...

This is the fault of the Rabs and the Sophia. They were losing their minds one day. They do this often. See just how lost two minds can get, when they try.

The circumstances: Lapinne (Rabisquinn) is explaining to Sophia (sillyursula) What Bahorel looks like in a picture she drew, as yet unscanned. Downhill from there. So very far...

rabsiquinn: *g, hugs back* so very welcome... well, there's his moustache for one... *shudders* He's got his hands on his hips and his head thrown back and a Snidely whiplash sort of thing under his nose that he ought to be twriling.

sillyursula: *LAUGHS* He sounds like a ringmaster in a turn of the century circus...

rabsiquinn: well, that'd be about right...

rabsiquinn: hee hee! Can you imagine Bahorel with a whip and a lion cage?

sillyursula: Oh GOD yes....Enjy, meanwhile would finally have an excuse for that tacky vest...

****

Thus the Speculation began. We decided that cosette ought to be shot out of a cannon and Marius the sad-eyed clown could catch her in a bananna creme pie. Lesgles and Joly are siamese twins, Misichetta the human pretzel, The flying thenardiers, and...

****

rabsiquinn: heh. We could put Enjy in the cage and have R tame him...

E!: "Rowwr!"

R: *cracks whip!*

E!: "purrs"

R:*pets kitty*

E!: *rubs up against R's leg*

Marius: *stares. Blinks. Goes back outside to finish helping Cosette wipe the bannana cream off her dress*

Combeferre: *chuckles knowingly*

Cosette: *looks at Marius adoringly*

Cosette: *licks bananna cream off her fingers. Yum*

Marius: *licks bannana cream off Cos's upper lip, pales at realization of how forward he's being*

Cosette: *blushes and looks away... realises that his coyness was getting on her nerves. grabs him by the lapels and kisses him fiercely, smearing his clown makeup*

Marius:*doesn't whimper much as he falls to the ground*

Chowder: "POPCOOOOOOORN!"

Fricassee: "Getcher peanuts here! cotton candy, red hot peanuts here!"

Cosette: *decides that domination can be fun! Takes command of the situation admirably. Growls like Enjolras*

Marius: *Is dazzled by his goddess*

Bahorel: "Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, i give you... the amazing, flying Thenardiers!"

Bahorel: *cracks whip*

E!: *jumps*

Cosette: *jumps*

Combeferre: *jumps*

Marius:*jumps* (what else?)

Eponine:*realizes she doesn't like heights...dammmn, she needs the money though.*

Gavroche: *flies through the air with the greatest of ease*

Eponine: *steps nervously onto the platform, trying not to look down...smiles at crowd, who are ignoring her and watching the kids make out below*

Bahorel: *laughs and drops a black curtain over Marius and Cosette* "Look! Pretty girl! Way up high!" he says to the crowd.

Eponine: *Jumps. Clings desperately to Gavvie's ankle.*

Gavvie: *fakes trying to kick her off. Winks.*

Crowd: "Oooooooooooh!!!"

Eponine: *through clenched teeth* "You try that just once and you'll never move again..."

Bahorel: *cracks whip again. grins*

Gavy: *laughs and keeps on swinging.*

Eponine: *Jumps to other trapeeze. Looks down by mistake.* "Maaaaaaariiiiiiiiuuuuuuuuuuuusssss!"

Cosette: *thinks that's funny, she didn't remember screaming Marius' name. Yet.*

Eponine:*sniffles*

Cosette: *purrs*

Gavy: *thinks he's too young.*

Marius: Notices nothing, he's too busy trying desperately not to make a mistake.

E!: *purrs louder, trying to out-purr Cosette*

Cosette: *wouldn't know a mistake if it slapped her in the face. So to speak.*

Eponine: *wails* "Life's not fair!" and grabs Gavy's hand. "You're too young." *tries to descend ladder to ground, dragging sibling behind her*

R: *turns at Ponine's statement, is about to start long comment on that, but remember purring Enjy and redirects his attention elsewhere*

Gavy: "funny, i was just thinking the same thi..." *notices that R didn't take Eppy's opening. Notices where R's train of thought went. Decides he'll NEVER be old enough for THIS circus!*

R: *smiles*

Cosette: *is annoyed by Enjy's purring competing with her own. Purrs even LOUDER!*

Enjy: *growls*

Courfeyrac: "SHUT UP! It's time for my act!" *runs onstage, motions for Feuilly to train the spotlight on him. "Mesdames et Messieurs, prepare to be amazed!"

Bahorel: *cracks whip at Courfey*

Courfeyrac:*waves juggling torch at Bahorel* "You had a better idea?"

Courfeyrac: "At this rate, I'll never get to juggle..."

Bahorel: "oh, i wouldn't say that..." *looks up at the swaying Eponine and Gavroche on the ladder. Thinks that Courfey needs no help with juggling anyway. Grins*

Combeferre: *makes baloon animals for the children who really shouldn't be watching all this*

Courfeyrac: *sees Thenardiers* "Merde...."

Eponine & Gavy: *come tumbling down*

Bahorel: *Catches Eponine, and tosses her to Courfeyrac*

Children: *clamor for balloons. Combeferre is their god!*

Courfey: *tosses Ponine in the air, flips her over and juggles her with the torches*

Ponine:*Wonders if raw steaks are really worth all this*

Combeferre: *is happy in kiddie-land... wishes R were here to help him. He can hold his breath a lot longer than Combeferre, and would be lots of help blowing the balloons up...*

Gavy: *SPLAT!*

Bahorel: "oops"

Eponine: *thinks* /Then again, it could be worse.../

Bahorel: *feeds Gavy to the tiger... Um... Enjolras.*

R: *is holding his breath. Is too busy for balloons*

Enjy: *isn't hungry. Well, not for Gamin.*

Combeferre: *gives Azelma un baloon rouge*

Courfeyrac: *Is appalled. He has splattered gamin staining his trousers!* "WARDROBE!"

Bossuet/Joly, the siamese twins: *run out with change of costume for Courfey. Decide that if they help, Courfey will get changed faster...*

Courfeyrac: "I'm not changing onstage, idiot(s)." *drops Ponine & torches, grabs costume, and stomps to trailer as the twins rush after him...*

Eponine: "OW!"

Torch:*meets tent*

Twins: *lock trailer door behinsd them*

Tent: "OUCH!"

Torch: "HaHA!"

Tent: *whimpers*

Black Curtain: oh no, not again!

Eponine:"Um, fire....OOOH! BALLOONS!" *runs to Combeferre.* "Gimme?"

Combeferre: *smiles and makes Eponine a balloon Cocker Spaniel*

Torch:*to Curtain* "We meet again!"

Combeferre: "there you go little lady!"

Eponine: "Yay! Thank you!" *claps for joy*

Black Curtain: *is feeling rather warm. Can't figure out whether it's the torch, or Marius and Cosette*

Combeferre: *is so pleased to bring joy and happiness to the little ones*

Bahorel: *thinks that the fire is a nice touch*

So do the kiddies...."OOOOOHHHH! AHHHHHHH!"

Enjolras: *hisses. it's getting warm in here. But the flames match his vest.. erm, where is his vest?*

Grantaire: *thinks it's over in the corner, drenched with spilled alcohol...uh-oh...*

Vest: *thinks, "uh oh..."*

Raging fire: *meets vest*

Vest: *SCREAMS!!!*

Enjy: *Howls!*

R: *looks at angry Enjy...wonders if he'll need the whip again....*

Kids: "AIIIIEEEE!" *Think this is way cool*

Eponine:"AAAAA!" *clings to Combeferre, obstructing his balloon-crafting*

E!: *half-snarls, half whimpers at the loss of his vest... backs away in the cage*

Combeferre: *is silghtly startled to find his arms full of Eponine instead of pretty balloonies. Oh well. Looks apologetic; is glad kids are more interested in the fire*

Bahorel: "Oooooh! Ahhhh!"

A few adventurous flames: *venture outside to meet Paris*

Bahorel: *rushes out to accompany flames on their Parisian Adventures*

Feuilly: *To Bahorel* "Um...should we do something?"

Bahorel: "of course! We TORCH the place!" *grabs Feuilly by the sleeve and drags him out with him*

Feuilly: *fans the flames*

Cosette: *fans some flames of her own*

Chowder:*glares at Cos through smoldering remains of curtain* "Hussy! Have you no shame!" *starts eating the cotton candy. They're all going to die, anyhow...*

Cossie: *didn't hear over the roaring and crackling of fire*

Marius:*Is oblivious. She couldn't possibly mean his angel...is paying attention to other matters, anyhow*

Fricasee: *runs out to go to the ladies room*

Cosette: *is busy being other matters*

Musichetta: *is in there trying to unknot herself so she can walk* "Have you seen the twins anywhere?"

Combeferre: *points from beneath Eponine and baloons* "Um, Courfeyrac's trailer"

Paris: BURNS DOWN!!!!!

****

Actually, Rabs and Sophia had to go to sleep then. And just in time too... Now, the Dramatis Personae: Lapinne is Responsible for Enjy, Cossie, Bahorel, Combeferre, the twins, Fricassee, the Crowd, Gavroche, the Tent, the Black Curtain, the Vest, and Paris. Sophia produced R, Marius, Eponine, Chowder, Courfeyrac, the Kids, the Torch/Raging Fire/Adventurous Flames, Musichetta and Feiully. We promise never to do it again. But our fingers are crossed. bad Rabs! Bad Sophia! Bad bad bad...

Tell me quickly what's the flamin' Story!!!